How To Approach A Woman ANYWHERE

Here are a few things that I've come up with:

1) Most attractive women are BORED OUT OF THEIR
MINDS by most men. One of the reasons for this is
that guys have NO IDEA what to do when they run
into an attractive woman, so they do the same
default thing: Dumb look, compliment.

2) As I've said before, and I'm sure I'll say
many, many, many times in the future: You can't
BORE a woman into feeling attracted to you. If
she's most likely got a boring life like everyone
else, and you do something that every one of the
other 499 guys she's going to walk by this month
did, then you're probably not going to attract any
special attention.

3) If you just start with the idea of NOT DOING
WHAT OTHER GUYS DO you will be WAAAAYYYY ahead of
the game.

Wow, this is fun, isn't it? Bet you never
thought you'd be thinking like a woman, did ya?

So, what are a few things you might do to?

Maybe NOT be like the other 499 boring,
predictable, "nice" loser guys she encountered?

And maybe BE interesting, attractive,
attention-getting in a way that makes her feel
like you might actually be someone to provide her
with a pinch of spice in her life?

I thought you'd never ask...

And, as you may have already predicted, I have
a few more ideas of my own (but don't let that
stop you from thinking about this on your own as
often as you get a chance).

To start with, you'd probably want to get rid
of the "Wow, you're a beautiful woman, and I'm
just an average guy admiring you" vibe. That's not
helping.

Next, you could take a moment and think about
how a guy that she would feel ATTRACTED to might
act... then choose that style.

My experience is that if you take an attitude
of "I guess fate has good taste putting us in the
same place, now let's see if you have a
personality to match your looks", then stir in a
generous portion of Cocky & Funny, you're likely
to do well.

Here's a variation of something I've used
myself once or twice.
YOU: "Hey, can I ask you a quick question?"
[leaning back and playing it cool, talking cool
and slow]

HER: "Sure"

[pause.. pause.. pause for suspense]

YOU: "Are you single?" [stone cold straight face]

HER: "Well, um..."

YOU: "I'll take that as a yes..." [nodding, sly
smile]

HER: [Laugher]

YOU: "Well, I just happen to know someone that I
think might really like you... if you're more than
just a pretty face, that is... He's funny, has
great taste, and I think you'd like him... I'd
love to sit down and get your life story, but I'm
on my way somewhere... do you have email?" [very
cool, calm tone of voice]

HER: "Yes."

YOU: Great... [takes out pen]... write it down for
me, and I'll have, uh [clears throat] HIM send you
an email."

[Get email and wish the lady a good day.]

The Different Ways Men Say "I Love You"

Most women won't feel happy unless they hear their men say "I love you" directly to them. But men express their love in many different ways. This article explores the different ways in which men say I love you, and what love actually means to them. When women understand this, a great deal of upset can dissolve easily.

"I can sleep with her, marry her, take care of her, but to say I love you" that's something else" said Tony, a married man in his late forties. "Guys don't like to talk about love. They don't know what to say.
"Of course guys do love. But they express it differently. Despite this fact, most women do not feel happy unless they hear those golden words, I love you. Men need to hear them as well. And yet, as much as men want love, many fight it to the last minute.

Love can make men feel vulnerable, childlike, and unable to do what's expected of them. Yet, naturally, men do love and different types of men express their love differently. A woman needs to be alert to who the man she is with is, and what love means to him. Here are five different ways that men express what they are feeling.

The first way is simply by saying "I Love You."

Actually, saying these words is a huge step for some men. It means a lot more than simply expressing a feeling. For some it feels like a life commitment, for others it is fraught with danger.

"When I say I love you,"said Steve, "I feel like I'm taking my life in my hands and giving it to her. It's scary. I've got to really trust her and know she won't throw my love away in order to actually say the words to her.

"In this case the fear of rejection comes up strongly. Rejection is enormously painful for most men, and saying "I Love You" can be an invitation to be hurt. Most men must feel very secure in the relationship and in the woman's feelings for him, before he'll dare say those words.

For others, saying "I love you," means, I'm offering a commitment. I'm going to be here to do things for you. For many men, love is expressed through action, so these words are a promise of what is to follow. Simply by saying these words they feel they are agreeing to be there to give to her and support her. If they don't do it, they'll feel like a heel.

For others, the words means, I'm not leaving, or I'll always be faithful. This can be very scary for some men. They feel the words themselves are a promise, and if the promise is broken, they will suffer as well. However, there is another type of man, who enjoys falling in love and letting the world know it. These men will say "I Love You" easily. There are many different motives behind their words though. Some say it to get a woman to make love with him, others to enter into a romantic fantasy, some to feel as though they are a great lover. By saying these words, some seem to be offering the woman the world, (that they have no intention of giving).

Others say it just for the sheer pleasure of seeing how good it makes the woman feel, and how effective he feels as well. When a woman hears those precious words, she should step back a moment and put them in context. What do they mean to this particular man, and are there other ways she might also realize that he is expressing his love for her?Another way men express their love is through bringing gifts to the woman. There are many different kinds of gifts a man can give. The obvious ones include those wrapped in packages, candy, flowers, special notes. But there are others that a woman may or may not be aware of. For example, for some men, giving their time to you, is a gift. When they spend more time with you, and less with family and friends, this is their way of saying they love you.

A different way some men express their love is by standing up for you during a ifficult time, attending important functions with you, going with you to your family, planning trips, dates or outings, and putting you first in their thoughts. These behaviors are often indicators that the man cares a great deal. .

Believe it or not, some men express their love through being jealous, or possessive. They do not want to share your attention. It is especially upsetting to these men if you speak of or look at other guys. Although being controlled is not being loved, to many men and women, the two overlap. Many women feel cared for when the man is possessive of her. "It''s a sign that he cares a great deal," said Renee. "Sure, it can be annoying that he's so controlling, but if he wasn't, truthfully, I don't think I'd feel loved or cared about.

"For Renee this kind of behavior produces a sense of security. It lets her know she's on his mind and she translates this to mean that he cares. Although this trait can get out of hand, when it is just part of the overall equation, it often is the way a man expresses his involvement and love. He doesn't want to lose you. He wants to be the most important person in your life and to be on your mind all the time. If he is, he feels loved as well.

Other men say "I love you" by being affectionate and making love to you. After being intimate they feel as though they've loved you, and often feel loved as well. The physical contact breaks down barriers and provides a feeling of closeness that they do not feel otherwise.

Some women require hearing words of love spoken when they are being intimate. This is a complex area, because sex can mean so many different things to different individuals. But for many men love means meeting her needs and having his needs met as well. They feel that if the sex is good, everything else will fall into place. Sex can be a sensitive barometer to what's going on in all aspects of the relationship. Another way of saying "I Love You" is taking you home to meet the family, (and/or close, meaningful friends). Not only does it say that he's proud of you, but he wants to connect you with the people who mean the most to him. This is often a sign that you are becoming a significant part of his life.

Other men compartmentalize relationships, they have someone for dating, someone for sex, someone else for the kind of love that leads to marriage. By being aware of the people in his life that he introduces you to, and includes you with, you can get a good idea of how he operates in this area. Does he want you in all parts of his life, or is this a limited relationship?Love, in the deepest sense, includes sharing all parts of ourselves with another. It is helpful to keep a little journal of your relationship. So many acts and expressions of love go unnoticed and unfelt, because we simply get used to them, or are too busy to stop and take note, or to stop and say thank you. In the journal of your relationship, take a few minutes to note, what you received that day, and also what you gave. Write it down. Be specific. List everything, like phone calls, kind words, a surprise visit, etc. It will be amazing to you to realize all the ways your partner is giving to you, and it will be wonderful to find new ways to give back.

Is Fear Keeping You Single?

Still single? If your fears, insecurities and defences are getting in the way, here are some common fears, and some alternatives and solutions.

You are afraid to get close.
Do you panic at the thought of someone getting to know the real you? Are you convinced that if you revealed too much about yourself they would run? If you see yourself as flawed and unworthy, personal relationships are virtually impossible.

The No Fear Philosophy:
You don't have to earn your worth, it is yours! You are valuable and trying to earn your worth through appearances, achievements or your job is a waste of time and energy. Accept yourself irrespective of your imperfections. then others will accept you - flaws and all.

You are afraid you will be rejected.
You're interested, but never do anything about it because you might be rejected. It could be your limiting self beliefs which will hold you back from real opportunities to connect with others - 'they wouldn't be interested in someone like me'. Insecurity and lack of confidence can cause you to project a false self, avoiding honest communication.

The No Fear Philosophy:
When you are self confident and feel good about yourself, it is easy to interact with others. Just because someone knocked you back once... doesn't mean you are unlovable - it may not have even been to do with you!

You are afraid you will get hurt.
When you are involved in an intimate relationship you are vulnerable. No one else has the capacity to love or hurt you as much as your partner. So you avoid painful feelings - work long hours, become aloof or start an alternate relationship. Anything to distance yourself from the possibility of being hurt.

The No Fear Philosophy:
Make sure you don't turn off your brain while you get to know someone! How does this person feel about important issues in your life? Do you share similar values? If there is even a hint of strong differences forget it - put your energy into a relationship that has a future.

You are afraid of losing control.
You usually become totally consumed by your love interest to the exclusion of rational thinking, personal boundaries and sense of self. You forget your friends, your work suffers and you start to suffocate your new partner.

The No Fear Philosophy:
Focus on developing a strong sense of self; otherwise you will become absorbed into the life and identity of your partner. Develop and hold on to your own life, values and interests. Stay in touch with the facts. If you find yourself fantasising about the future - take a look at your real world and keep an eye on the state and progress of the relationship.

You are afraid you will be exposed.
When you are truly part of an intimate relationship there is nowhere to hide. You want to get involved but you may be exposed. Your facade of success, achievements etc. which cover up your vulnerable self will be revealed.

The No Fear Philosophy:
Get Real and communicate your thoughts and feelings appropriately, without the need to impress. Be comfortable with yourself, with all your imperfections. Embrace you individuality and project your authentic self - comfortable and loveable where you are right now.

You are afraid of commitment.
You pattern looks something like: You start each new relationship with high but sadly unrealistic expectations. Before long you feel trapped and suffocated by the thought of anything long term, searching for ways out. You are looking for the 'Perfect Partner' who will fill you up emotionally; being bitterly disappointed as each new person fails to meet your expectations.

The No Fear Philosophy:
Time for a reality check - there is no such thing as the Perfect Partner or Perfect Relationship! Develop tolerance and acceptance of other people's attitudes, opinions and imperfections. Define the kind of relationship you want and be prepared to make adjustments. Consider what you may gain from being truly and intimately in a relationship - it might make you slow down as you run out the door!

You are afraid of failing.
Last time you fell in love it was a disaster, you were devastated and only now after all this time you feel like yourself again. Going through that again may not be worth getting close to anyone ever again. I'll just play the game and get out first!

The No Fear Philosophy:
You may be temporarily in the grips of 'learned helplessness'. Past experiences of failure are controlling your attitudes and behaviours - Learn to challenge your negative 'what if this fails and I am devastated' thinking patterns.

As long as you are focusing on the negative worse-case scenarios of life - your fears will dictate your future.